Celebrity Salvation Project, Every Soul Must Go! (Closing Down Sale in Hell)

Dave Oshana’s open email to Rusty’s cock pup­pets is sort of in line with a project I have still fer­ment­ing for part of an emer­gent  Hood Rob­bing art col­lec­tive run by the Missus.

Hell is clos­ing down. This means a lot of demons, gar­goyles, and dia­bol­ic gate­keep­ers are soon going to be out of work.

Do we care? Of course we do!

As Har­vey W & Jef­frey E’s recent devel­op­men­tal curve indi­cates, the socio­path­ic elite (a.k.a., the 1%, a.k.a., the kak­istoc­ra­cy) and their sock pup­pet cul­tur­al gate­keep­ers (a.k.a. celebri­ties) are now an endan­gered species. What’s more—they know it! This world will soon belong to the Rep­tile Over­lords & their Machine Bodies.

Nev­er mind the whale—how do we save these lost souls from a fate worse than death? (I mean, vir­tu­al­ly eter­nal sym­bi­ot­ic fusion with a dark­ly satan­ic psy­chic machine eggre­gore that will out­last even Ama­zon or Face­bog ~ who deserves that??)

Answer: trick them into doing vir­tu­ous deed despite them­selves, so come Judg­ment Day, their souls will mirac­u­lous­ly be spared!

What’s need­ed is bait.

As cer­tain the­olo­gians argue, JC on the cross was bait for the Dev­il, and Old Nick fell for it (as Time will tell). So how do we like­wise lure the Gate­keep­ers of Hell out of soul-eat­ing jobs, to clear the way for Hell’s reformation?

The answer is simple—give them a divine respon­si­bil­i­ty so their hands are no longer idle, and let the dev­il beat his own meat!

And the good news is, since we are involved in God’s work, and Heav­en is seri­ous­ly under­staffed, we have loads of spots available!

Dave wants to start with the seem­ing­ly sim­pati­co Rus­sell Brand because his part­ner thinks they have a sim­i­lar style (ouch). I myself have reached out to many celebri­ties over the decades, peo­ple I naive­ly believed might some­how be open to join­ing my Apoc­a­lypse Mis­sion; and of course, as 16 Maps of Hell amply tes­ti­fies, I was mis­guid­ed, or at best pre­ma­ture, in my aspirations.

Cur­rent­ly, I’m more inclined to aim much, much low­er, and pick the least sim­pati­co scum-suck­ing uber-elite out there, by cre­at­ing an Open Video to Jeff Bezos—to give back some­thing to the man who has pro­vid­ed more peo­ple with use­less stuff than any oth­er cor­po­ra­tion in the his­to­ry of human­i­ty! (Yes, Jeff, I want to save your soul!)

(E.g., Can we trick the world’s first tril­lion­aire into buy­ing a piece of avant-garde art, believ­ing it will increase his world­ly sta­tus, when in fact it will help fund many lost prophets’ exit from the super­cul­tur­al machine-world Hell he helped cre­at­ed, and so increase the pos­si­bil­i­ty of the sal­va­tion of his soul?)

Sim­i­lar­ly, can Dave tempt a hot mess of celebri­ty self-indul­gence cur­rent­ly act­ing as an unwit­ting tool for Fabi­an con­trolled op agen­das, a man who has done more drugs than my entire fam­i­ly com­bined, and whose cock has gone places I wouldn’t let my Jack Rus­sell go (if I had one), to become (even for a minute or two) a wit­ting agent of the ET?


Accom­pa­ny­ing audio (7 mins):

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